mynerdgirl
Orange, CA
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I love going to strip clubs and watching other women. My friends seem to think that there is something wrong with me. When they found out I went to one they asked me why and I did not know what to tell them. I go about once or twice a year always with my man. It really turns me on and I even enjoy a lap dance now and then. My friends say that I am contributing to something that treats women as objects I enjoy the female body and how turned on the experience makes me. My man and I have great sex afterwards. So, my question for you - is there something wrong with me? Is enjoying this wrong?
Dr. Ando's Answer
Posted on 03/18/2009 at 10:58 pm PST
Dear mynerdgirl,
Oh good lord, no. Really, unless you're being a jerk to the dancers, there is nothing wrong with you for liking strip clubs. There is a huuuge range of experience and motivations within the sexwork industries, to make a blanket statement about going to strip clubs being wrong or right is poor reasoning. While there may be some strippers who don't enjoy their work and some patrons who view the women (or men, there are male strippers as well) as sexy meat, there are also dancers who find the experience enjoyable and empowering.
Not only do some of the dancers find it empowering, they find it fun and sexy, especially when women come in to see them. A fair percentage of them are bi or queer-identified, so dancing for women who are enthusiastic and want to be there (as opposed to dragged in by a boyfriend or bachelorette party), can be refreshing in a long shift. Remember, dancing and being sexy is their job, finding inspiration to make it a genuine makes it more fun for everyone involved. You could be making her night by choosing her, being respectful, sharing the fun, and tipping well.
There are aspects of stripping that are less than ideal. I'm not going to go into depth about it because one can easily find horror stories about dancers being victimized. However, some of the victimization of strippers comes more from the club than the patrons. Setups vary, but oftentimes girls have to pay the club a stage fee (about a couple of hundred dollars) to dance, so if they make less than the stage fee, they can lose out. They're also expected to tip the DJ and door men. Expenses can add up rather quickly. You'd be amazed at how expensive those tiny bits of fabric she pulls off can be.
Anyway, to sum it up, there is nothing wrong with you. Personally, I'd say there's something right with you. Go, have fun, tip, talk to your dancers - if you get a good vibe from them and the joint, you're doing just fine. And you're helping to stimulate the economy by buying American. Enjoy the fabulous sex afterwards, guilt free!
Cheers!
Dr. Ando
