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mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 08/16/2009 at 09:17 am PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I am a bi-curious woman in a 15+ yr relationship with a man. I have no desire to be with another man. However, I have only had one experience with a woman and it was awful, and it has years since then. I still want to try being with another woman. In fact, most if not all of my sexual fantasies involve being in a threesome with my man and a woman or women. My question is how do I go about finding a woman who would want to have a threesome? I do not live in a big city, so the bar scene, is pretty weak. I go to gaming conventions and am continually looking for signs from other women who might be interested but have not found one yet. Please help…

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 05/19/2009 at 06:23 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
I've not used condoms regularly, ever. I'm in a new relationship, and she's not on the pill, which means that I should learn the things. So far, I've been having a difficulty achieving climax while wearing one. What are ways to sensitize myself so I'm able to climax despite the loss of sensation caused by the condom?

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 05/04/2009 at 07:49 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando I have been hanging out with a girl that I really like, we have alot of common interests and have made it very clear that we find each other physically attractive. I'm rather shy but she's very outgoing and not afraid to show affection by hugging me, laying against me and even giving my backside a grab. This wouldnt be a problem if she didnt have a boyfriend. Im not one to try to split people up, but I can only hold back so much. So after allowing her to be the "aggressive one" I try to hold her hand and she thinks that it is going too far. Is she simply just being friendly or is she giving me mixed signals? What would you recommend I do? I really like her and would love to have a relationship, but I dont want to ruin the friendship we have and also obviously step on the toes of her boyfriend.

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 04/10/2009 at 06:25 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, A few months ago I got involved with someone who told me up front that he was living a polyamorous lifestyle. I've never been one to question the way a person lives so long as they are being responsible about it. At first I was ok with it. Now it's starting to trigger insecurities that I never had before an ex of mine did some very horrible things. I thought maybe this would be a good step for me to grow past my insecurities. He is honest about his activities which have been, up to now, minimal. He has confessed also that he is in love with me. I'm not sure where I am about that yet, but I am realizing that I am far to insecure for his lifestyle. I don't feel that this is a jealousy issue. In fact, i don't think it's about him at all. I know it's more about my self worth. I don't want him to change his lifestyle just because I have petty insecurity issues, but I'm finding it more difficult to be ok about it. I have started to share these feelings with him because he insists on knowing my feelings about everything. I know that he cares. Unfortunately that does nothing to ease my overwheling discomfort. There are many things that I am experiencing with this relationship that I want to experience, maybe even need to experience beyond overcoming my insecurities. I see my emotional reactions to this as weak, almost pathetic. I wasn't this way before my crazy ex did the things he did and he did those things many years ago. What can I do to overcome these emotional reactions other than fight through them?

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 04/08/2009 at 06:13 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I am in a realationship with a man in the Military. He is currently deployed and this is something we have been through several times in the past. I was wondering if you had any ideas on how we could keep the sexual attraction going while in a long distance relationship. I want to keep the passion alive while we are apart. Any ideas would be appreciated. Sincerely, Missing my Man

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 03/10/2009 at 04:58 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
I'm in a relationship where my Girlfriend and i have been together for 3 years now but haven't done anything more then french kiss once. Shortly after going out she explained to me that she had beeen raped in her last relationship and when we started once to begin making out she got all emotional and i stopped and i've been afraid to try anything since. Is there anyway to approach or try to get more intimate without a massive break down??

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 03/10/2009 at 11:19 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I love going to strip clubs and watching other women. My friends seem to think that there is something wrong with me. When they found out I went to one they asked me why and I did not know what to tell them. I go about once or twice a year always with my man. It really turns me on and I even enjoy a lap dance now and then. My friends say that I am contributing to something that treats women as objects I enjoy the female body and how turned on the experience makes me. My man and I have great sex afterwards. So, my question for you - is there something wrong with me? Is enjoying this wrong?

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 02/13/2009 at 07:18 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I only orgasm when I masturbate. I am unable to orgasm with my guy. What can I do to help with this situation? I don't want to hurt his feelings and I don't think it is just him as I have never been able to with guys I've been with before him. Thanks!

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 02/11/2009 at 07:10 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I've always been a sexual person. As one friend put it I ooze sex. I've also noticed a tendency to be experimental and dominant, even while being submissive. I've dabbled in bondage and S&M, but I've had a habit of meeting vanilla types. People who don't now about or aren't into the scene. Recenty I've met a sub that sees me as nothing but a dom. I am moving slowly but I want to really know what I am doing so as not to cause srious injury both physically and emotionally. I don't know where to look for accurate guidance. Are there classes or books I should look into? Thanks always for your awesome advice! Sincerely, The Nerdy Dom

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 02/06/2009 at 07:17 am PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I want to get my Academic Nerdgirl a fun V-day gift that will help to get her in the mood for love. I would like to choose something that will help us spend our V-day exploring and enjoying eachothers bodies. Do you have any idea on what I might purchase and how to set the mood? Sincerely, In love with a Nerdgirl

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 09/30/2008 at 04:35 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I don't know if this is quite your area of expertise but I thought you might have some insight. Two years ago this Christmas, I broke up with my very abusive ex-boyfriend. Along with being abusive he lied constantly and his infidelity knew no bounds. Since then I have only dated casually and have felt great. I know I haven't quite dealt with what happened but it wasn't affecting my relationships until now. A few months ago I started seeing someone new. He's very sweet and patient. He knows what I went through and wants to be there for me. The problem I am running into now is that all of the paranoia and insecurities I felt with my ex are creeping in. He has given me no real reasons to respond to him in such a way but my mind now seems to go to the worst places. I was never insecure before my ex. I was always quite secure in my relationships. I know counseling is a good idea so my question is what sort of counselor should I look for? (A psychologist, psychoanalyst, therapist, etc...) Thank you for taking the time to read. ~Clueless About Counseling

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 08/06/2008 at 05:07 pm PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Hey, Dr. Ando, I have heard women hit their sexual peak after 30. I'm almost there and actually I am quite looking forward to thirty for a few reasons. I've known many women that either cannot orgasm or can't without external stimulation. Is this a biological issue or is it about experience? Can something be done to change it or is it a simple matter of waiting for nature to take its course?

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 08/04/2008 at 11:39 am PST
mynerdgirl asked:
Dear Dr. Ando, I am a bi-sexual woman in a monogamous relationship with a man. I love my guy and have no desire to be with another man. However, It has been a while since I have been with a girl and I still have strong urges to be with a sexy woman. Most of my sexual fantasies involve being with woman or being in a threesome with my man and a woman. My question is how do I go about finding a woman who would want to have a threesome with my guy and me? How do I know if a girl is into this type of thing without embarrassing myself or losing a good friend? If I do find such a girl what are some of the possible issues that I need to consider? I have never been one for sleeping around with many partners and enjoy close intimate relationships. Therefore, I would love to have the best of both worlds (A committed relationship with one man and one woman.) But, I am not sure what the relationship would need to be like between my guy and new girl for this to work out. Is this an unusual set up? I have never met anyone with this type of relationship before. Do these types of relationships ever work out? Do bi-sexual girls have to choose? Sincerely, Want my cake and eat it too

mynerdgirl
Orange, CA

On 06/11/2008 at 05:43 am PST
mynerdgirl asked:
I keep hearing about glass dildos. What is so special about them and are they better than the regular type?



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